Hail Mary’s

I admit it. I’ve pulled some things off that there has to be someone silently either rooting for me like an angel or maybe I’m evil and my minions help me like David Blaine. Yes, because I’m convinced that David has a pact with the devil. Don’t judge me, you probably thought it too after watching his new hand tricks. 

Right now people are worried about the holidays. Right now, I’m worried about work deadlines. Trying to balance work, school and a kid while trying not to leave work late but still pulling off a saving grace or a Hail Mary as I call it when it comes to work. 

When I succeed though I feel like I’m the Harvey Spector of law. By 10:00 a.m. I’m like fuck this shit and fuck Harvey I want to be a shrink and I need one while I’m at it. By the afternoon, a thank you from a client re-affirms the morning attitude that I will crush the legal game like Michael Jordan in basketball. This goes on all day long. Yes, it’s a very long and daunting day. 

Today was no exception. Yesterday was a super bad day. But you take good with the bad’s and losses with every win. You can’t always win no matter how great you are. As I stared at my growing tower or rather the leaning tower of pisa of cases and emails from my clients, my anxiety hit peak. But, I know I have one objective. Get the 4 day deadline cases done now. Everything else must take a momentary back seat. 

Sometimes I’m a glutton for punishment I must confess. I thrive in pressure. I’ve grown up in a pressure cooker. The problem is, that as I get older this presssure that I’m good at laughing at can get to me. I’m no longer bullet proof. Now I feel anxious. My stomach turns sometimes. 

Whether I’ll live and be the female Harvey Spector (Tv show Suits) remains to be seen, maybe I’ll live my life in love with psychology and making a bigger difference that way. The only thing I’m certain of is that I’m as intense as my stomping stroll. My personality is as strong as my gait. A friend once joked I had an angry teacher stomp when I walk. For me, it’s just confidence, it’s endurance that leaks into my stomp. I equally take my wrath out on those who dare cross my clients and eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner.

At the end of the day, when you’re only given one option to sink or swim. Sinking is not even a consideration and your only choice is to swim. So in the words of Dory from finding memo, “Just Keep Swimming.”

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