From time to time I put my asshole personality on the sidelines. Usually this is reserved for the good guys that need someone in their corner or that need a break. From time to time, I’ve had some Good Samaritan do the same for me. So naturally, I believe in paying it forward. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of regret when I’ve done something nice and I am forced to ask myself why? Why did I do this to myself?
It’s a funny thing but sometimes you extend yourself and people act like you owed it to them or like you had to do something and that’s normally where my direction takes an immediate left. At that moment, it’s when my dark side begins to prevail. Today, I went above and beyond for someone because they were nice and I felt bad for something I hadn’t done directly but was somehow implicated. So I opted to go out of my way. It was a comment that sent me over the edge. The comment went along the lines of that they had taken the time to search and the delivery service was open until 8 or 9pm. I took it as an indication that I had all the time in the world to file this. I had no kids, no responsibility, nothing of my own to do but deal with this and I had hours. That was my interpretation and it pissed me off. I don’t have to work late for one. If I go above and beyond it’s on me. It’s not because I’m clocking overtime or gaining a god damn thing out of it. I chose to. Just like I had chosen at that moment to personally pick up what I needed to prepare and save them fedex bill. So that comment dug real deep. I realized at that moment what had I done. I got home at 9 pm last night. I have homework and real life deadlines outside of the 9-5.
It made me think and wonder why had I done this? This commentary is the precise reason why people don’t do favors, why they won’t step it up. Because it’s a comment that’s made disregarding the main key point. I did it as a favor, not something you’re entitled to. Not something you can demand.