Moving to New York

Moving out of Florida and into Florida there was a lot I couldn’t grasp starting with the grim faces. Then after working in New York for a number of years I understood something. If I had ever in my life experienced toxic environments, they paled in comparison to what I walked into. I walked into moments of racism, discrimination and pure unfiltered evil. It was the knit picking. One time I got in trouble supposedly for spelling the word direly wrong. At the moment I was busy. But the second I got a free chance I checked myself and I was right. Fueled by the fire of being reprimanded for something that was correct and someone’s clear inability to comprehend this word I actually fought back by emailing and including a link to websters dictionary. I got in trouble once for finding one of the attorneys for a call from a judge. Where I’d been judges calls are stop drop and roll everything. So I literally got in trouble for finding someone to let them know the chambers were calling. The most ridiculous shit I had ever heard in my life. I had never had any employer say anything bad about me. So the prospect of having things put in my file was stressful and upsetting. 
By that point, I had become physically sick and I was done. It took one doctors visit to make it clear to me. Gloves were off and so were all bets. All the stress had started to manifest as hives. The thing is I was tested for allergies and I had none. When the doctor asked me if I was under stress, I kind of snapped. I realized I wasn’t about to let the job kill me without a fight. So the day after my appointment, I dressed to the nines, literally. I grabbed my LBD, Chanel bag and necklace, Michael Kor heels. I walked in, sat all the way back (doing the lean) and started drafting the biggest fuck you of my life. The email basically outlined all of the professional and educational requests I had been denied. From leaving 30 minutes early one day a week and making that time up, to internship opportunities so that I could graduate. All the requests were based on the fact I intended to remain loyal and continue working there. Yeah I know, why in the hell did I want to stay? The truth is I’m loyal to a fault. Had they helped me achieve my academic goals I would’ve happily or unhappily dedicated a few years to them. 

This wasn’t a 20 employee office, it was easily an over 400 person office with offices nationwide. Then I dropped the ultimate 2 liner: If you’re attempting to get me to quit, I’m not quitting. Do what you need to do.

 I still have that email saved. After that things died down for a while before it started again. But for a while at least I had the ultimate victory in indirectly sending the fuck off of a lifetime. Me leaving there was a blessing for a while. I just lived off the peace of knowing I was finally gone. This experience in memes: 


 The weight carried by atlas was gone when I left. Until..

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