Pet Peeves

Pet peeves, everyone’s got them. I have a list not too long but maybe you’ll find your own on my list.

1. Excessive talking: you might be wondering how talking can be annoying? It’s easy. Have you ever come across that co-worker that never shuts the fuck up or the person that makes up stories just to keep talking? Yes those people.

2. Touching me: if I don’t know you don’t touch me. Hands off, don’t try to hug me, high five me unless we’re playing sports and shit. I’m not sure why some people are touchy feely but I promise you, I’m not touchy feely unless I’m clocking you in the jaw. That’s the extent of my touchy feely.

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3. Liars: I get little white lies. Sometimes I suppose they’re a necessary evil. But I hate people that try to be deceitful and lie, lie, lie like road kill. It’s especially worst when you know someone’s lying, it’s disrespectful and insulting really. Save the fairy tales for the novelas. As Sweet Brown  once said “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

 

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4. The ass sucker: you know the one. The one that is has sucked the bosses or anyone’s ass so hard their lips are still puckered from all the sucking up. Listen, I don’t care who you are. If I like you we’re good, if I hate you, I’ll tell you to fuck yourself and your entire lineage, no matter your position or who the hell you are. Like I always say, “you can get it too.”

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5. The email and phone thugs: yes you know them too. Don’t try to talk crazy to me over a computer or over a phone. I don’t care if there’s a phone cord dividing us, you gonna learn today. If you wanna play hardball you better be ready to play for real. Don’t email me all crazy and when I snatch up the phone to call you, you wanna sing another song. Uh uh. Not having it. All I can say is #gameover.

6. The social media addicts: You know these too, the annoying Facebook updates with every shit they’ve taken today, every meal they consumed. The only thing  that’s missing is the digital image of their colon so we can see their digestive tract. Otherwise you know, their woes, eats, shits, talks, feelings, and fights one status update at a time.

7. The assholes: We know them, they are the unjustifiably nasty walkers of our world. Whether through self entitlement, or just plain assholeness, they have no reason to be nasty yet, they are by all means assholes. If you’re justified in your behavior awesome sauce. But those people that wake up on the wrong side of the bed, EVERY single day, and go to bed on the wrong side EVERY single night and you become their emotional punching bag, those people. Until one day you literally punch right back.

I’m sure you can come up with your own.. please enlighten me!

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