Under the pits…

My olfactory senses were assaulted yesterday afternoon. The offender, you ask? The other train goers armpits that smelled like a combination of a 6 pack of onions and a dead guy. I almost became the newest victim to succumb to his offense. I texted one of my closest friend and had to share the assault. I was pissed and thought it should be a legal charge. Deadly assualt with a non lethal weapon, maybe cruel and unusual punishment? 

 Now it made perfect sense why the person I sat between was sitting in the middle of the three rower. She probably said good for her to sit next to the emanating smell for making her move. I thought about breathing through my mouth and then immediately thought about all the train cooties I would be taking in since I have no mouth filter like the follicles in your nostrils. 

I understand people can have hormone changes and things that cause bodily odor. I’m far from perfect and there’s been times not drunk that I’ve smelled like a drunken dumpster or maybe a dumpster period. It’s that time of year again, the sun is out the weather is changing and getting warmer. I respect that people want to do the au natural thing but seriously the smell can be absolutely offensive if not stomach turning. At least carry baby wipes or something because I almost lost my life yesterday to the deadman onion pit. 

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One thought on “Under the pits…

  1. Omg you had me in tears! It’s so true though! Ugh I can’t stand having to smell that and even when I think about trying to breathe through my mouth I get scared that the stench is so strong I might actually taste it…hahaha I love it this one.

    Like

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