People think that children are incapable of manipulation. I scoff and laugh at this notion. Manipulation is not only for those adults or teenagers with anti social disorders trying to get ahead or manipulate for their own personal gain sans a disorder and down to simple ability and desire to control others. Children are also capable of manipulating parental power or in fact others. My daughter is no exception and I would be lying if I didn’t say that it enrages me as I watch the entire production play out. I am the disciplinarian. No non-sense, do as I say, we’re not debating. I am the parent she is the child, I don’t believe in negotiating what I tell you. If I said no, you’re not getting a toy, its non-negotiable. This isn’t a trial and we’re not mediating this, your case is dismissed.
Her father on the other hand is the puppet while she is the puppet master. She dangles his strings at every turn and corner and its disturbing to say the least. It’s a game she’s mastered very well since she was smaller than 5. My father a third party has witnessed this for himself. My daughter behaves one way with me and with her father out comes the manipulation to play both sides against each other with her victoriously seated. Lately, this has been draining my very energy and honestly pissing me the fuck off. She’s taken to acting out because she knows her father will intercede. There’s days where I want to leave them both to their own destruction. Him because I know he wouldn’t be able to handle the actual responsibilities of parenting, and her just walk away and leave her to her own behavior and absolve my hands.
I wouldn’t do it, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it. People like to talk about all the good things in life, even parenting because they don’t want to “appear” in certain lights. For me, I don’t give a shit, I’m going to tell you how it is and how I feel and no one’s going to invalidate how I feel. Its difficult and frustrating when you have two parties that differ so much that the child knows where they can pull the strings and on who.
There are incidents where she’s perfectly fine, I mean laughing joking and playing and the second her father walks in she slips her perfected mask on and the role of her life commences. I’ve watched her cry to get her way with him, not because anything is wrong but because its a part of her act and again, she’s won the Emmy on that performance. I have been known to initiate my own psychological warfare on others, but this is me as an adult not a child trying to manipulate others. I see a lot of myself in her, but then I see the parts of her father that are not good in her as well. I’m not sure how other parent’s have dealt with this issue but I can tell you. She is the last of the Mohicans. I have no intention of having any other children again. I can cross it off my bucket list whoo hoo, and mark off my things I want in life, but I’m done. I have to give a lot of credit to the moms and some single dads out there holding down the fort with a child or children because I can tell you it’s not easy….